And, here we are with Mary Jane Parker one more time!
Silence reigned in the stillness of the night, as Spiderman and The Joker slowly found their way out of the dungeon. They did not pause to consider, or wonder, at how easy it was for them to escape. Love had died in their hearts, and all that they were conscious of, was a thirst for revenge. Being slighted was not something that they took lightly.
It was this desire that burned in their hearts, and drove their movements. Hate burned deep, its flame roaring and raging. It was this desire that blinded them to the question of why it was so easy for them to escape.
They left the two Hobbits, chained in the dungeon. They had no more use for those two little mongrels, and only felt that they would slow them down. They had played their part, in luring the two girls into their clutches, and then Frodo had betrayed them. Their usefulness was over, and the wrath of Batman and Poison Ivy would be just punishment.
Finally, breaking the silence, The Joker whispered, “Ah, if only I could bear witness to what tortures The Bat will dish out, my day would be complete. And, that Poison Ivy….. ah, she is so very delectable.” A leer crossed his face, and he stood there in the night, thinking of her, and imagining her naked underneath him.
“Leave them’, whispered Spiderman, breaking The Joker’s pleasant reverie. “We have work to do.”
They paused as they felt the fresh air on their faces, and let the silence and stillness of the light soak in. Ah, freedom. What a glorious word, and what a glorious feeling!
They had been in scrapes before, and had escaped many times. Yet, each time they escaped, the marvel of freedom never left them.
In another part of town, two girls left their cozy home. The cool breeze fanned their faces and they drove off at random. Their love for each other was bright and strong, and equally strong was their determination to not let the two men come in the way of their love.
They drove around randomly, aimlessly for an hour, wondering what to do. Instinct drove them, and not knowledge. They had no knowledge that the two men had been imprisoned by The Bat and Poison Ivy, and had escaped. Finally, they stopped, wondering what to do.
“Where would they go?”, asked Harley Quinn, musingly.
“If I know Spidey, he would probably go back to the place where these events started. He would go to his favorite pub –the Black Pub, he called it. That is where he would go whenever we would have a fight. He has that sense of tradition about him. He would go to that place. That is where he would have first met The Joker, and this would be a new beginning for him.”
“Let’s go there, then”, said Harley. “Let’s go there and wait for their Majesties. We shall wait upon them, like two dainty maids, and then we would have our fun. Let us then destroy them both, once and for all.”
Unknown to each other, the two pairs headed off in the same direction, to The Black Pub.
Meanwhile, the two Hobbits groaned and moaned and thrashed about in agony. Bitterness welled up inside their throats. Their love for each other had been turned to hate, and all because of a woman. They were beginning to ask themselves if they had been wise, and the realization of their stupidity hit them like a bolt between the eyes. Looking into the other’s eyes, they crawled to each other, and swore eternal fealty to the other, and then fell back like two blubbering masses.
“I love you, Frodo”, said Sam
“And I you, Sam”, said Frodo.
Two dark shadows filled the doorway, and they saw the burning silhouettes of Batman and Poison Ivy.
“Let’s get you two up”, said The Bat. Deep in the recesses of his mind, ran the thought that this was like a poorly made disaster film that was slowly beginning to spin out of control.
“Let’s put them out of their misery”, said Batman to Poison Ivy. The Joker had put him through all sorts of trouble in the past, and he thought that it was now time that he allowed him to end his miserable life once and for all.
“Let’s have some fun with both, before we dispose of them,” replied Poison Ivy. She tossed her auburn locks, and stretched her body. Yes, she was desirable indeed. She was desirable in a way that Harley had never been. There was too much uncontrolled madness in Harley. This slow, languid, dangerous sexiness was much more to Batman’s taste, and he sometimes wondered why he and Poison Ivy had not hooked up earlier. She was pure, burnished gold, and she set him on fire.
She shone with a golden light. He was dark. Together, they were the perfect duo, and they knew it.
“What shall we do with the little fellas?”, she asked.
“We can put them to sleep, and take them with us. Let’s see how this plays out”. His laugh was grim and cold, and sent a wave of desire through Poison’s body.
Later, when their immediate hunger for each other had been satisfied, Poison Ivy walked up to the wriggling, protesting Hobbits, and blew deep into their faces. They looked at her with sudden wide, innocent, baby eyes, and slid into a deep slumber.
‘Sleep, little Hobbits”, said Poison Ivy. “Sleep, and when you wake up, who knows what will be happening. Who knows what would have happened”.
“Let’s get them into the Bat-Van”, said Batman. Soon enough, they were in the van, and about to start. Suddenly, without invitation, a sly voice piped up inside Batman’s head.
“Ah, little Bat, it is I, Loki. Why don’t you leave well enough alone? The Joker, Spiderman, the two girls have their fate to play out. They are dashing towards each other, and who knows what will happen to the four of them. Let them be.”
“You sneaky, little chap”, snarled Batman. “You think you are the ultimate trickster, right? You think you can play with me, right? Well, I am the ultimate game player. I am the kingpin of all tricksters. Don’t try to play with me”.
“Ah, but Batman”, replied Loki. “I am but a well-wisher. I have followed your career with great interest, and approve of your love for Poison Ivy”.
“You approve?”, sputtered Batman. His voice was like a hissing roar. “You approve? Who do you think you are to approve, you little rat?”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you”, said Loki. “I would have preferred that you and Poison Ivy continue your path, and carve out a career as the greatest criminal duo in history. You would be the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be. However, have it your way, my friend”.
He paused, then continued. “Since I am such a nice fellow, I will put you out of your current misery. I shall leave you to your devices”.
There was a sudden silence, and Batman sat there quivering with an impotent rage. He avoided Poison Ivy’s perplexed gaze, and the Bat-Van roared off into the night.
Matters were coming to a head, as three sets of protagonists, and one pair of Hobbits raced off to a common destination. How it came to pass, that all of them would arrive at the same destination, and at the same time (almost), will never be known. However, I Loki, have been a cynical buff of movies and, let’s just say that I willed them towards this dramatic face-off. I did creep into Batman’s head, and try to warn him to stay away from the standoff. I am, if nothing else, kind. The man would not listen. Why is it that we let ego get in our way? Why must we blind ourselves to the wisdom of warnings, well intended?
Still, the game had to be played out, and it will be played out till the bitter end. But, enough of me. Let’s get on with the story.
Mary Jane and Harley Quinn sat by the pier just outside the Black Pub. They were quaffing some cold beer. The heat of the dying sun warmed their bodies, as they sat contemplating their next actions. Neither had a clear plan of action in their minds, but were sure that they would prevail in the battle that was to follow. Strange things happen in the heat of the moment, and they were more than capable of crazy innovation when needed. That is when they were usually at their most dangerous. A rickety old van bumped up along the road, and came to a screeching, if inelegant halt in front of them.
They heard a banging noise coming from inside the car, and sarcastic smiles crossed their faces. Finally, a door of the van fell off, and out fell The Joker. Spiderman emerged from the other door, evil in his eyes.
Dusting himself off, The Joker started prancing around like a madman, screaming, “Euphoria, Euphoria!”
“Eureka, you idiot”, replied Harley Quinn. “Have you never heard of Archimedes?”
“Euphoria, you scheming little bitch”, replied The Joker, giggling. “We meet again, and ‘euphoria’ describes me best now, as we send you wenches to your painful demise”. He cackled like a madman having a fit.
“Well, we shall see about hat, won’t we?”, smirked Mary Jane. “We shall see.”
As the four stood there facing each other, another van, a black one, screeched to a halt, and out came Batman and Poison Ivy. Batman reached back inside, and yanked the two Hobbits out. They fell in an ungainly heap on the road, and were left to contemplate their fate in misery.
“So, this is the bitch you are with, eh Batty?”, snarled Harley Quinn. She did love Mary Jane, but a slight twinge of jealousy went through her, nevertheless. She stood there, gazing at Poison’s taut figure, and auburn hair. Despite herself, she felt the heat rising though her loins.
“Leave her”, screamed Mary Jane, anger and confusion writ all over her face. She did not expect this from Harley, and it unsettled her.
Spiderman and Batman stood facing each other, neither speaking a word. Mary Jane and Harley Quinn were screaming at each other; and Poison Ivy stood there, malice written all over her face.
The Sun crashed like a fiery ball into the horizon, and the heat from its dying flames seemed to set the water on fire.
That is when it happened. No – that is when I made it happen! There was a crash and a boom, and fog of thick, acrid smoke filled the air.
When it faded away, all that was left, were the two Hobbits and Poison Ivy lying on the street. A bearded old man in a black, shimmering coat sat by the pier, with a woman in a gown next to him. Her hair flowed down to her shoulders, and her red lips stood out starkly from her white face. They were an incongruous couple indeed.
The old man sat there, munching a moldy old cake, and muttering “Delicious” under his breath.
Picking out a raisin from the cake, he contemplated it and, then looked across at the three lying on the floor.
“Poof”, was all he said. Then, he stood up and pirouetted.