The Mongrel Howls: Empty Spaces, Silent Spaces

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My father in law died a few days ago. He had been living with us for the last several years, and over these years, he had declined continuously. He had declined to the point where he was the shadow of the man who I knew when I married. In fact, my memories of the man I knew when I married had almost faded.

All I remembered was a man who had severe dementia, and who could not walk even a step. I would carry him to the bathroom for a bath, and carry him back.

Two weeks ago, he collapsed, and was bed ridden for the last two weeks in his life. We knew that his end was nigh, and we had realised, for a long time, that death was better for him than life.

When he was alive, he and his nurse occupied a physical and spiritual/ emotional space.

When he died, we were suddenly aware of the emptiness.ย While there is indeed a lightness in our apartment, there is an emptiness now, and there is a silence in the area where there used to be noise and action.

That is life. While we remember the dead, life moves on. It is like a never ending river, where the individual droplets coalesce to form a continuum, a coherent body of memories and collective subconscious.

When do you die really? Do you die when your spirit leaves your physical body and departs to whatever heavens exist – or not.

Do you die when memory of you dies away? Or, do you die when the impact of your actions on this earth die out completely?

I suppose that we will never really know the answers to these questions, and that they will remain in the empty, silent spaces that we leave behind.

 

34 Comments

  1. Sorry for your loss. May your father-in-law rest in peace. I think, death is an amalgamation of all the possibilities you listed above. It does leave a void behind which will, eventually be filled by someone or something else. I lost my grandmother 8.5 years ago. She was a puny little thing. Voluntarily (FAPP) bed bound. But when she passed, the WHOLE house plummeted to a void. Like something big was missing. But it’s a passing phase. Though I admit, some things never get back to being the same. I have, rarely, gone to her house (the aunts still stay there) for lunch after her passing. It just never was the same!,

  2. Bless you Rajiv for being such a kind a devoted son-in-law. As a rule, we don’t die all at once. We tend to die gradually a little bit at a time.
    Leslie

  3. Reblogged this on KAYCEE CHUKWU and commented:
    Sad one ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    I saw you on the list of dissident on Celona’s blog and I thought it nice to follow your good works on photography..
    Charles said I would see fine works here and I sure did..
    Hope you do follow back ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. That was beautifully said, Rajiv. I like to believe that death is but a comma to consciousness. May you and yours, here and there, be bathed and clothed with all Beauty’s Light and Love. x

  5. Reblogged this on lovehappinessandpeace and commented:
    *******

    Two wonderful excerpts:

    ‘Do you die when memory of you dies away? Or, do you die when the impact of your actions on this earth die out completely?’

    ‘When he died, we were suddenly aware of the emptiness. While there is indeed a lightness in our apartment, there is an emptiness now, and there is a silence in the area where there used to be noise and action.’

    Will that be said of All of Us?

    *******

  6. Oh wow I’ve been gone along time. I’m so sorry to hear about your FIL. I remember when you said he was living with you. So sorry for your loss my friend! Sending hugs to you! MM ๐Ÿ™‚

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