So, here we go again. Before I start, I am attaching a little image of some geese like creatures swimming in formation. I took this picture some time back. Are they geese? Someone has to be kind enough to educate me.
All you management gurus out there will immediately say, “Ah, look at den little birdies. Swimming in formation, ey? What can we learn from them about teamwork, shared resources, collective vision etc etc etc… bonk, bonk, bonk….”
Then, all the good, little managers, sweating in their suits, with ties that are slowing choking the air out of their wind-pipes, will look at the management guru, and sagely nod their heads like good little children, and say, ‘Aye’.
Now, they have to say this, because their boss (who, by the way, is secretly thinking of the evening’s dinner with his secret girlfriend) is looking at them with killer eyes. He is also thinking that these little managers better just say, ‘aye’, so that he can escape. They are thinking that they better say, ‘aye’, else they will be committing a CLM, and will not get their annual bonus.
A CLM is a Career Limiting Move.
Finally, the management guru has done his bit, and everyone escapes. This is when the fun begins, and they all want to get home.
The problem is, that the previous day, the same management guru has told them about how they must compete, and must get ahead of the others, if they are to stay ahead of the competition.
The scene now shifts to the streets.
All pictures in the post from now on have been taken from the internet. Issued in the interest of the public.
Och! No one told them that people across the city have been having the same dream, and that they would find themselves in a sea!
But, they remember that they have all played, “Big Fish, Small Fish” type of games, and read “Animal Farm”, and their hearts swell with pride. Never mind that the theme of ‘Animal Farm’ is something else entirely. Wot difference, ey?
Now, they must compete to get ahead. Why? The management guru said so. So did their boss. So, they now revert to Animal Behaviour.
Remember the geese like birds at the top? Nah! Stupid birds!
Everyone starts to shove, push and move ahead.
The air is rent with earthy accents, which can be loosely translated thus:
“Gerroff my path, you chap”
“My path? Mine, not yours, you pig!”
“Groink, Oink, Boink, Doink”
No, not Doink… If memory serves, Doink The Clown was a wrestler in the WWE.
“Groink, Oink, Boink….”!
Now you see where Animal Farm comes in?
Meanwhile, George is rotating rapidly in his grave.
George? Orwell, ass!
Oh… we are Indians! We have asses and cows.
The conversation takes on many hues and colours.
“Groink, boink, oink….”
“Moo, moo, moooooah”
“Eeyaaawh! Eeeyore!” No wait… Wasn’t Eeyore the character from the Poo stories? Poo? No… No Poo.. Shit…. Crap… We are decent folk here!
Basically, the man in the tie tells the rickshaw-wallah that he is in the way, who tells the cyclist that he is in the way, who tells the autorickshaw-wallah that he is in the way, who tells the motorcycle rider that he is in the way; who, in turn tells the pedestrian that he is in the way…..
Oink, boink, groink!
Suddenly, shades of 1984 rise, and a collective “Eeeeeek” rises from the many throats on the road.
Big Brother has risen. He has appeared.
Big Brother is – a truck, a bus…….
Those damn geese like birds who have taught the management guru so much that he can now charge the company so much money from the company for his pleasure of watching geese like birds with a beer in his hand now just serenely swim by.
The management Guru is a GyaanDu… Which, as per today’s information, is an asshole who gives too much fake wisdom…Sigh!
Damn Dem Birds!