Some of you may have seen this photo last week, of the man feeding the cow.
Soon after he left, I darted across the road, and decided to interview the cow. Please don’t start getting the wrong impression. Some of you may be wondering if I had suddenly learned cow language, and that the interview was conducted in various tones, inflections, volumes of ‘moo’.
The interview, given the nature of the times, was conducted in chaste Sanskrit. For the benefit of those who do not understand Sanskrit, I am giving you a short excerpt of the interview in English. For those who wish to read the full interview, please pick up the latest edition of “Mother India Weekly” published by the All India National Cow Press Journal.
The interview
Rajiv: Mother India, thank you very much for your time….
brief pause..
Rajiv: oww…. oww… oww..!! please get your hoof off my foot! Mother India: I am not that old. I am young and pretty. Please call me Ms Malli from now on…
For those who don’t know, the name Ms Malli is derived from Ms Molly, of from that old song, “Good Golly Ms Molly”. A You Tube rendition is attached at the bottom, one by that great gent, Little Richard.
Rajiv: Ms Malli, how do you describe the times? Is it a good time to be a cow? Ms Malli: Yes indeed. This is a great time to be a cow. You cannot eat us. You cannot tell us where to go. You cannot berate us if we are shitting on the street, or rubbing our hump against your jeans.
She smirks, and Rajiv retreats a safe distance… His jeans have just been washed that day.
Rajiv: What about food, Ms Malli? Are you happy with the food you get? Ms Malli: she sighs- some kind folk give me some grass and some corn. Some, thinking that they are being kind, give us some of yesterday’s leftovers and we have to eat some of the most awful cooking perpetrated on humanity. Then, sometimes, we have to eat plastic on the street. This is not good for our figures at all
Rajiv: What do you propose to do about this, Ms Malli? Ms Malli: We plan to launch a national agitation. We have read in the papers, that some people in your strange country are agitating to be called backward, and that they demand privileges so that they can be allowed to walk backward. Strange people, you are. Why do you agitate to walk backwards? Do we need to see your rump before we see your face?
Rajiv: Ms Malli, no.. They want to be called backward… They don’t want to walk backward. Ms Malli: What difference does it make? You may as well walk with your rump forward.
Rajiv: Ms Malli, why don’t you listen to me? Ms Malli: (stepping again on Rajiv’s foot and continuing amidst his yowls of pain). No, young man. You listen to me. We cows demand our rights. We demand to be able to walk rump forwards, and to get good food, and fodder. We demand….. Well. Why shouldn’t we demand for the sake of demanding? Tell me…
The interview went on for sometime, but I think that I don’t want to bore all of you. Here’s Little Richard for you!
Little Richard is awesome. I know the song but had never seen the music video until now. Fun!
Oh yeah. He is – was – brilliant.
You are a luthier bit nuts Rajiv…. But I like it lol! In saying Ms Malli with that slight Indian accent now!!!
Oh you should perfect it!
😂😂
🙂 Nice to see you write down some of the nonsense I think sometimes too.
Try it! It’s fun!
That was so funny, Rajiv! I was eating breakfast as I read it & I almost spilled my cereal on my keyboard!
BTW, I did not see a link for the GREAT Little Richard.
Nevermind….I just found it.
Dont spill cereal!
It’s never worth interviewing cattle. They never listen to the questions and usually come up with some old nonsense. *sigh*
So true!
Hilarious nonsense! love it Raj and I must send you this as well – A highland Coo wrote a poem it recited to me but as with most of the good Scots tongue it is in dire need of translation – I have it here at the bottom of the post.
https://cybeleshineblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/23/my-last-week/
Well, three things.
Super photo of you in that one. I told my kids that, when they have got their jobs, I am going to “retire” into the mountains!
Lovely photos.
I understood half that poem, and am going to get the rest of it translated. This will be tough, because once you put it into Google Translate, it loses 85% of the meaning and sense of the poem
😀
Can Little Richard ever rattle those ivories.
Leslie
I think he can! If there is one man who exemplified joy in music, it was him
Another great musician!
Leslie
Thats so true