My Camera & My Chai: Gorblimey!

CameraAndChai

Gorblimey!

Wot’s in a name, and wot’s in a measure?

Seriously now. Let’s analyse the first. Ah, before I do, I was going to write something philosophical, but decided against it.

Names

Now, Delhi is divided into Delhi and Old Delhi.Old Delhi is loosely the Walled City of Delhi, and is the part about which, I am lazily writing my e-book.

However, Old Delhi is the 7th city of Delhi. Only that part of Delhi, which is called Lutyens Delhi is newer.

In New Delhi, you have the Zoo and Purana Qila. Puranas Qila is said to be situated on Indraprastha, which is the mythical city said to have been founded by the Pandava Brothers of Mahabharatha fame. Then, there is Mehrauli, which is where the last Hindi Kingdom, and the first Muslim capital flourished. “New” Delhi has ruins of the Slave Dynasty, the Khiljis, the Lodis, the Tughlaks, the Sayyid Dynasties.

All older than Old Delhi. So, is Old Delhi actually Newer Delhi? Is New Delhi Old Delhi, and is Lutyens Delhi actually Newest Delhi? What matter?

I live in the Delhi National Capital Region, in a town called Gurgaon. It was, it seems, the home of one Guru of the Mahabharatha times, Guru Dronacharya. So now, it has been renamed as “Guru Gram”.

The ‘a’ in Gram is pronounced as the a in “Ah”, and not as the ‘a’ in the weight measure. But, we get confused as well

So, we proposed, via the WhatsApp network that the following be renamed as well:

  • The southern state of Telangana now be called “Telegram”
  • The southern state of Kerala be called “Kilogram”
  • India be renamed as “Instagram”

Gorlimey!

But, Instagram is part of Facebook, which is part of Mark Z!

Ohhh Ehhhm Geee! Will India now be no longer a country, and just be a part of the largest country in the world – Facebook, with Mark Z as the Emperor?

Look at the cover of The Economist, and you will see I am not too far off the mark.. And, I mean ‘mark’, not ‘Mark’.

Och!

Measures

I have addressed this before.

We are Indians. We like to be Indians.

Which means that, if we can find a way to complicate things, we will.

Why bother about simplicity, when complications are so much more fun?

Let me give you logical proof.

  • We measure ambient temperature in degrees Celsius, and body temperature in Fahrenheit
  • We measure distance in kilometres, and area/ height in sq feet and feet
  • Weights are measured in kilograms, and this is only because the trading community rose up on their hind legs in protest.

But, live life I say. Enjoy it.

Why bother about these small things? We will all die one day, and we will bomb our species into extinction.

Then, Mother Nature will triumph, and dispense with names and measures. 

Have a beer on me. Enjoy the liquid carbohydrate, I say. Don’t worry about diabetes or the beer belly. 

Life is a blast!

16 Comments

  1. Haaha , so where the bill to be sent ?? Gurugram , Old Delhi , New Delhi 🙂 . I agree to the thought that we make easier things clumsy but this way we Indians are made ,my personal thought it is. Since , childhood I used to wonder what is the system of the pincodes in Delhi ,when the pincode of Karol Bagh is Delhi 5 just 6 kms away from our house in North Delhi , How can Shalimarbagh be 86 ? Though the distance is same .. Till today no one could satisfy with the right answer like you did today, why worry just live , ultimately has to know which area the Nigham bodh ghat is .. Have beer and chillax .. Thank you for the thought .. Njoyed reading the post a lot. 🙂

  2. Blimey! How many beers did you consume before you wrote that one? Yes I do agree that Indians like to complicate things just for the sheer hell of it. But its in your DNA and what you are and what we expect from you. Also, do you think its a way of trying to confuse us so that you appear ” more educated” than others…. the more you say and write the more you must know? 🙂
    Point of Order though… I don’t think we will bomb each other to bits… haven’t you read the Bible?? 🙂

    1. Me read the Bible? Blimey, no!!
      YEah, as in the Indian way of saying things – “We are like that only”!

      No beer was consumed in the writing of that post. I am going to a dietician who has put me on strict beer control.. Sigh…

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