I am going mad. Yes, that is it. I am indeed going mad.
The voices in my head just don’t stop. There are brief, limited period of lucidity. Fleeting moments of sanity that pierce the veil of darkness that surround me. I have lost my home, the place I was staying. I wander around like a madman. My gums bleed, and children throw stones at me. Does anyone care?
No. Damn them. Damn everyone.
I need to regroup. I need to scratch a few notes down.
Everything was good for a year and a half. Everything. Everything was smooth. Ira was happy, in a way. She seemed dreamy, but she was accepting life without Jay.
Then, a stranger came to town. Wild, long hair, looking somewhat like a hippie from the 1970’s. Thin to the bone, he walked with a strange gait. Yet, there was something about his eyes that disturbed me. There was something that was familiar, and something that was different from anything that I have ever seen.
Where the hell had I seen those eyes? Why did they disturb me?
Why did he start to haunt the areas where Ira and I would walk, or eat, or drink some coffee? What business did he have? He did nothing at first. He did not even look at us. After a while, that damned Ira started to notice him, and one day she smiled tentatively at him.
One day, I saw them talking together. When I remonstrated, she flew into an unaccountable rage.
I decided to accost him, and I did. He just smiled, and did not talk. I started to follow him, and one day decided to invite him for a drink. We spoke. I knew that voice from somewhere. Soon enough, we started to meet more often.
That’s when the voices started in my head? Josh tried to help. He tried. He listened to me. He talked to me.
The voices grew louder, and louder. More incessant. I started to wander around like a mad man. I think that I did become mad.
Ira became distant. Very distant. She and Josh became closer and closer. I could not prevent it.
One day, when I saw them kissing, my rage knew no bounds. I screamed, and I ran towards her, with the intention to kill.
Josh stepped between the two of us.
“Don’t you recognise me?”, he asked, with a smile on his face?
“No? Look deep into my eyes. Now?”
That is when it hit me? Josh was not Josh. Josh was never Josh. How could I have been so blind?
She was supposed to…… But, she must not have….
Ira smiled? Did I detect hate in her eyes, when she looked at me?
There is no point in continuing? What did Josh do to me? Why did he destroy me? Was it retribution for the potions I may have used to spike his drink with, to cause hallucinations in his brain?
Did he do the same to me? No, it cannot be.
I think it is time for me to die.
Their sardonic, cruel smiles haunt me. Pitiless.
I curse Jay and Ira to all eternity.
They have found their love, while my sanity has gone. But, maybe this is a new beginning… We shall see..
No, I shall not die. My time will come.
I am a good man. I am an honourable man. I have been mistreated.
My name……. is Jed