My Camera & My Chai: To Gas Or Not To Gas….

Ladies and Gentlemen,

All is well with the world. Shakespeare has been reborn, albeit in a slightly different form. It’s all about that eternal question – to be or not to be.

But no, this is the 21st century. I think. We have learned to move on since then. We have learned about gas. About carbon dioxide, and carbon monoxide, and hydrogen sulphide, and all sorts of other gases.

Now, I was in a sort of seminar a few days back, run by an educational institution. I shall not name this institution, to save them their blushes, and to ensure that they don’t screw my daughter.

I am not a believer in God, and this seminar proved why. Time stopped still in it’s tracks. It was frozen with fear, and the hands on the clock refused to move.

They spoke. They used five words, where one would do.

A paragraph was used, when a sentence would do.

A page was spoken, when a paragraph would have sufficed.

Who said that brevity is the soul of wit? Kick that person in the butt. Out with the ‘B’ word, I say. Out with it.

There is a new word there, and that is Verbosity.

Let us celebrate this word, and glorify it. Let us sing it’s praises, and build temples to it.

Let us make it a Saint, and a God.

Never mind that people in the audience will die of boredom.

Never mind that their eyes will glaze over, and they will clutch their bags in fear.

Torture them with words, I say, and let their teeth hang out from their miserable tongues.

Let the new word we worship be called – “Blah”.

Yes. Say it. Again and again and again.

“BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah”

It is the new mantra.

Sing, and ye shall be rewarded!

Best wishes,

Your friend

Vlad The Bad

18 Comments

  1. Oh I can relate to that, when I attend most of our teaching updates and courses… Whole days wasted, where half a day would have been sufficient, and the other time used more productively in the classroom!!!

  2. True. I stopped attending seminars for this reason, I have to be very much into some topic if I really want to attend. I am spending few hours of my life, might as well be worth it.

  3. I decided not to attend a seminar. It would cost $80 to learn one or two things. What the talkers fail to realize is we can only remember one thing. So tell that one thing, repeat it three times and the rest is bla, bla, bla, bla.

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