This is strange, I think. I think that this is strange quite often, in fact. What is the difference between aloneness, and loneliness? Have you, gentle reader, thought about this? If you have not, then maybe you should.
You can be alone, as most of us are. We are born into this world alone, and we die alone. These are two acts that we perform that are ours, and ours alone. But wait, do we really perform the act of being born alone? Do we do it ourselves? We are given sustenance whilst in our mother’s wombs, and we are ejected into this world when the doctors give our mothers the order to push… and, to push.
We can be murdered. So, we don’t always die by ourselves.
And yet, when we are born, we come into a strange world. It is different from the womb, and we seek company, warmth. We do come in alone.
When we die, we do die alone. We go into the void all by ourselves. We enter the dark on our own. It is an emptiness that awaits us, and we fly into the dark night, not knowing what is to become of us.
Are we alone when we die? Yes? Are we lonely? Sometimes?
And, Loki, I ask thee, are we alone when we are born? I would say, ‘no’, says he. However, and he smirks, if we are born into a cold, unfeeling world, we are born into loneliness. You cannot escape, he says.
The loneliness then stays with us like a shadow, almost like a ghostly companion. It stays, it feeds on us like a cancerous growth. It never leaves us.
So, enough philosophy, I say. What do I feel around me? Is it the ghost of someone else’s loneliness? Or, is it the ghost of my own? I look at Loki, and he looks at me. I don’t believe I am lonely, I protest, and never have been. I like my aloneness, and cherish it. I especially like it when I am in the mountains, on the highway, alone with nature. It is then that I feel at one with the world.
Yet, when I am back in the city, surrounded by those of my kind, the ghost returns. It sits there by my side, gently mocking. Laughing silently.
It waits, Loki, for the day when I shall enter the void. Shall then, the ghost and I become one? Or, shall it follow me into the void, forever mocking?